Monday, September 01, 2008
Hurricane Gustav live video feed
Hurricane Gustav live feed
Saturday, June 28, 2008
God created woman
The Lord made man in the Garden of Eden.
Then he said to himself, "There's something he's needing."
After casting about for a suitable pearl, He kept messing around and created a girl.
Two beautiful legs, so long and so slender,
Round, slim, and firm, and ever so tender.
Two lovely hips to increase his desire,
And rounded and firm to bring out the fire.
Two lovely breasts, so full and so proud,
Commanding his eyes, as he whispers aloud.
Two lovely arms, just aching to bless you,
And two loving hands, to soothe and caress you.
Soft, cascading hair hung down over her shoulder,
And two dreamy eyes, just to make him grow bolder.
'Twas made for a man, just to make his heart sing.
Then he added a mouth.
Ruined the whole f*cking thing.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Odd things said in court
These are from a book called Disorder in the American courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
_____________________ _____________________________________ b >
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty.
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you kidding me?
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Uh.... I was gettin' laid!
____ __ ____________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Have you ?lost it'? Your Honour, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it?
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would you like to rephrase that?
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Huh....are you qualified to ask that question?
And the best for last:
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pul s e?
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
Friday, May 23, 2008
Monday, May 19, 2008
Cool pics: Fun with food
Fun with food. Amazing food sculptures and cutouts.
Labels: cool pics
Monday, April 28, 2008
Babe break: ugh Mindy McCready
It was revealed today that not only does Roger Clemens have a steroid issue he must deal with, but also that he had a secret affair with trailer park trash Mindy McCready.
Enjoy the babe ugh break of Mindy McCready.
Labels: Babe break
Friday, April 25, 2008
Bell Canada throttling (net neutrality)
If you are from Canada and trying to watch all the wonderful babes posted here, or watch some of the funny Youtube videos on this site, then maybe you are out of luck.
You see, Bell Canada aka as Sympatico has been throttling their service since November 2007, and in March 2008 started to squeeze independent ISP providers that use their lines as well.. without telling them.
I am not familiar with Rogers cable internet, but i've heard just as many horror stories.
Here is a link from p2pnet news;
p2pnet news | Freedom:- Is all the attention focused on the bandwidth ‘management’ scandal making any kind of impression with Canada’s regulators?
“Canada’s Big 3 service providers are being told by customers from all sides, including client ISPs, which way is up,” p2pnet posted earlier today, going on to quote a Reader’s Write from Invictus (right), in which among other things, he says >>>
I have posted the following comment on the CBC website. As a former communications specialist I am appalled by the nonsensical approach of Bell Canada.
Ultimately, this is not about the internet but the monopoly that both Bell Canada and Rogers Communications want to exercise in distributing contents.
I further urge you to have specialists on your panel that are familiar with the rules and practices in other countries, especially countries in the EU, where traffic shaping of ANY sort is illegal and is being treated as anticompetitive and, in most countries, as an invasion of privacy, and therefore a criminal offense.
Should Bell Canada be successful in maintaining traffic shaping, Canada, as far as I know would be the only country that legally allows this degrading of service. Under the threat of being re-regulated, Comcast in the US has abandoned the practice.
“Canada has the third highest internet rates in the world, and measured by speed, is dead last in Broadcom services of any industrialized country……SHAMEFUL!!!!
Invictus is a former communications specialist —- and an ex-Bell Canada employee.
He’s worked as a consultant in England, Germany, Thailand, Vietnam, as well as for banks, and a major UK tourist company.
So when he says, “abolish the CRTC. Get on the next plane to Berlin, Germany and pick up a copy of the European rules and regulations —- Implement at once,” he knows what he’s talking about.
Meanwhile, what’s happening over at the CRTC?
“Just had a call from the CRTC,” Invictus told p2pnet.
“They’re being inundated with calls and emails.”
If you want to add to the onslaught, Marc Bissonnette of Canadian ISP.com has paved the way.
Here’s what to do >>>
1) click on this link - http://support.crtc.gc.ca/crtcsubmissionmu/forms/Telecom.aspx?lang=e
2) Select “Part VII/PN” from the drop-down list
3) Insert CRTC file number # 8622-C51-200805153 into the “Subject” Line, and then do what Invictus did —
4) Tell the CRTC what you think, and why, by posting your comments text into the “Description / Comments / Questions” box:
Or if you’re at a loss for words, you can use this >>>
I am writing to express my support for the Application that CAIP has filed with the CRTC regarding Bell Canada’s throttling practices.
I believe that these practices contravene Bell Canada’s duties as a common carrier and that the Commission should direct Bell to immediately cease and desist from throttling the traffic of independent ISPs.”
Keep it up, folks, and stay tuned.
Jon Newton - p2pnet